It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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