sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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