you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
