Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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