Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize