Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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