is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
