Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
