the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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