my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i came on her dog
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
