paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize