I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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