I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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