im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just pynch a tree in the face
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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