I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
