Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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