i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
