Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
