Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
