oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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