Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
