You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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