There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
