i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
