I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
