I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize