you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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