I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
