Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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