Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize