you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
