He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
