Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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