If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
