Why are handjobs necessary in class?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
