Don't you send me to vm
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
