What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
