Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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