this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Panties = found
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
