six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
