I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
