Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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