Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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