he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
