When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
