You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you win again, gameday.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In other news, I just burned my penis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
