I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
