He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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