Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
