How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
