i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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