where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
