thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
