well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
false alarm, still single
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
