i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
