No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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