there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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