I like my sex mixed with concussions.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
