Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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